I forever loved cartoons and have a mixture of random genres under my viewer belt that I have watched. Trust, I have watched all spectrum of shows and none get me like illustrious show Steven Universe by Rebecca Sugar. Mostly because of their pastel colors, realistic body types and their irregular ass problems, it’s a show about the crystal gems who are fabulous women from another galaxy, protecting the earth from invasion or destruction from home world. The show hosts a variety of characters with complex backgrounds and values. Discovering this show on YouTube during a time I came back to college in 2016 finally diagnosed with anxiety and depression. It was hard finding solace in the world at that won’t because I was just starting to learn about the new me. It wasn’t until the show my heart felt a sense of innocence, naivety and happiness I didn’t get in the hobbies I used to have. For 20 minutes I forgot I was alone, sad or even destined to be cynical instead beauty, maturity and love is all I felt. It got better when I watched Connie’s episode called “Mindful Education” about her anxiety with physically assaulting a friend by mistake in self-defense and she was ashamed of it. Garret (my favorite crystal gem) sang the song, “Here comes a thought” (Shortened lyrics at the end) to Connie and Steven and let me tell y’all, she was singing to me. Since 2016, it has been my soothing and recovery song during my harder depressive and anxiety episodes to let emotions flow out.
Shortened lyrics “Here Comes A Thought” by Rebecca Sugar
Here comes a thought, that might alarm me. What someone said and how it harmed me. Something I did, that failed to be charming. Things that I said are suddenly swarming and, oh. I’m losing sight, I’m losing touch. All these little things seem to matter so much, that they confuse me, That I might lose me. Take a moment to remind yourself to take a moment and find yourself. Take a moment and ask yourself if this is how we fall apart? But it’s not, but it’s not, but it’s not, but it’s not, but it’s not. It’s okay, It’s okay, It’s okay, It’s okay, It’s okay. I’ve got nothing, got nothing, got nothing, got nothing to fear. I’m here, I’m here, I’m here. And it was just a thought, just a thought, just a thought, just a thought, just a thought. It’s okay, It’s okay, It’s okay, It’s okay, It’s okay. We can watch, we can watch, we can watch, we can watch them go by. From here, from here, from here. Take a moment to think of just flexibility, love, and trust. Take a moment to think of just flexibility, love, and trust.
Me regularly crying myself to sleep, kept awake and feeling unsafe or alone. This song reminds me that normal Clarissa is still in there somewhere and she’s be out soon; It gave me the space to really show up with my feelings and let it out. Sometimes it reminds me that I have the resources or can find spaces to feel safe. A great depiction of my feelings and I would love to be after my episodes and I feel hopeful. And when Garnet splits into Ruby and Sapphire caring for their own individual stresses represented as white butterflies. I related more with Sapphire’s multiple butterflies and really helped me see metaphorically what’s going in my own mind.
Most of their songs provides a sense of ease and standby, clears my thoughts. And for once imagine a future Clarissa lounging bra-less in a living room surrounded by beautiful sunlight and green plants. So, find your comfort, it might sound silly but it honestly changed my perspective for the better. Because old Clarissa didn’t believe in herself or the world, now at least she is believing in both a little bit more.
Thank you for reading lovelies!
Comment below what’s your happy place and what helps you get there?