Sometimes I am just stuck in a thick fog of thoughts and just nothingness. To help illustrate this, just imagine a large movie theater screen that has a showing of a grey fog. And it’s light is a little bit more dim than usual. That was my mind’s state for weeks until my last day of my undergraduate career. This grey hazing fog could get so bad I would zone out and wouldn’t do anything, just sitting there, watching the fog in my mind drift. The mind fog would take a long time to clear up and after time is wasted, In comes my emotional turmoil about how bad my focus is. Because even when I tried to clear it up and focus hard, It’s like a toddler trying to stick a square block into a triangular opening! You watch that child try so hard and just smash the shit out of it and to no prevail.
It feels empty and clueless, as if I am waiting for a bus that might never show up but I am just sitting a station waiting, hoping. And when I finally pull through the fog, I am bent and groggy, exhausted from squinting to see through the fog. Living like this is difficult, I am bombarded with a million things I was supposed to have done but was just stuck in this fog, I was a college student and worker, I didn’t have time to relax or be stuck.
I knew my fog was more than just laziness and procrastination. Before though, I thought I was a dumb-ass, the causation of my failure when I should be writing assignments but instead I am here still writing this blog post. When I work during the fog, the work is 60 percent at best when I know I can write really good papers when my mind is more clear. And this semester, I have been stuck in this fog for unforeseen circumstances that left me vulnerable to it and it really sucks.
So blogging helps me to write, write, write because I can’t just sit and wait for my mind to be clearer. Shaming myself and crying about it will just make it harder for me. Completing a blog post helps me reach a sense of accomplishment, meaning that if I can continue to move around the foggy space it will eventually clear up. I had to understand that it is normal to fall and feel like you always have to pick yourself up, while everyone seems to be standing upright. Everyone seems to have clear minds, absence of fog. But it is normal to be in a fog and to always have to find a way out of it. The most important thing is:
To get out of your fog, stand up when you fall but as we all get older and hold responsibilities. More challenges will come our way, so have your band-aid and head light ready to go.
Thank you for reading!
Comment below: How do you get out of your funk or in my case fog? How long does it usually last?